To Whom It May Concern,
Thank you! Something I just don’t say enough to others or myself. So I’m writing this letter to say thank you to everyone.
Thank you to those I know and those I don't, and those who really deserve it that I haven't told and those who don't. If you read this blog then thank you for reading and commenting if you have or not. Thank you to my closes friends and friends I haven’t spoke to in years. Thank you to those I grew up and those I haven’t but in hopes to start growing with you. Thank you for being my friend whether I needed one or not. Thank you to those who have given me all the opportunities in the world to move forward on day to day bases and those who have not given what other have. Thank you to those who have shut me down in life whether if it was for a job, school, opportunity, etc... Thank you! Thank you for those who have supported me for whatever decision I have made or not made whether good or bad. Thank you for sticking by me as I achieve the highest praise to the lowest of slum. Thank you those of you who like me to those who hate me. Thank You! Thank you to those who have supported me in my life goals and as I achieve them future, past, and present. Thank You! Thank you to those I don’t know in hopes it may make some difference. Thank you for not getting mad at me as well as for. Thank you for screaming at me with your eyes you’re your tongue. Thank you for being this yourself and nothing more. Thank you for really telling me how you feel and want and not shining away from my feelings. Thank you for being the asshole or bitch that you are because now I know. Thank you for staying away and not staying away. Thank you for staying on me yet giving me the independence to live. Thank you for allowing me to succeed and at the same time fails. Thank you for touching me with your prayers whether I asked for it or not. Thank you for showing me fear when I knew no fear. Thank you. Thank you! Thank you for teaching me right and wrong and watching me do wrong to realize right. Thank you! Thank you for loving me even if I did or didn’t love myself. Thank you!
Let give a big thanks to my Samuel S. Hudson Sr. and of course my biggest # 1 number fan Patricia M. Williams. Thank You! Without them I am literally no one.
Sincerely,
Samuel M. Hudson
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Sam vs. Samuel
Human vs. Self
“Is the theme in literature that places a character against his or her own will, confusion, orfears. Human vs. Self can also be where a character tries to find out who he or she is or comes to a realization or a change in character. Although the struggle is internal, the character can be influenced by external forces. The struggle of the human being to come to a decision is the basis of Character vs. Self.”
You ever look in the mirror and wonder who the image in the mirror is that’s looking directly back at you. They have the same skin brown color skin as you, same brown eye, lower tailored hair cut, wide shoulder, small lips, small black mole underneath the left nasal and skinny rectangle shaped head. Who is that person? Is that really me looking back at myself or a look alike create to mirror me? Yet, that person lives in a totally different world mentally, and feelings different feelings and emotions. We look the same but we don’t feel the same nor act the same and the world we live in mentally are totally different. You ever get the feeling that your not the same person mentally yet you have retained the physical makeup that looks like you but you are really not you. Those who have experienced these feelings, how much time have you wanted to act on these feelings and walk that line outside your so called self. This is a feeling that I have experienced many of time and I’m sure many of you have to but I never like to assume. At times I’ve wanted to walk those lines outside my actually self and who to say I have already. This is what led me to the conflict and Samuel vs. Sam. How many time have I walked the line as Samuel and how many times have I walked the line as Sam and not or been aware of it. I definitely feel one more then the other and vice versa at times. Walking the line as Samuel or Sam the same rules apply unfortunately yet the feeling is different for one.
The question I pose is why is there two rather the one, and is this a conflict of good vs. evil. I think back know and an analyze situations, people, events, animal, nature, environment, technology, etc. and wonder have I created positive or negative opportunity in these factor. Why do I continue to face myself and am I my own enemy. I honestly believe I am my own enemy at times, cause who would know me better then my own self. Why! I think I tend to create situations or events, or whatever you want to call it in which we set ourselves up to fail. I on the other hand am a prefect example of how I am my worst enemy at time. I have created situation that are set up to fail and I'm truly aware of it, or do I do it to sabotage the situation. Why do we do this to ourselve? Not sure, or am I? Are these the real factor or just a small picture to small factor of something bigger? What do we really have to fear from ourselves that we over look the obvious or ignore it? You guy's ever seen the movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's"? Great movie! But if you haven’t seen it I would recommend it. It is a chick flix fellas but overall it’s got so great moments and lines. The movie has a lot great lines but here a line that I think more appropriate for this moment.
"You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-You-Are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a wild thing, and you're terrified somebody's going to stick you in a cage. Well, baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somaliland. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself. ~ Breakfast at Tiffany's, 1961~
Why do we fight ourselves sometime or should I say why I Samuel M. Hudson Jr. do fight myself. I sometime worried how can a person love himself so much yet fear myself at the same time. I love myself from 10am till 8pm yet fear myself from 8pm till 10am ladies and gentleman. Please let me know if I have lost anyone at this point so I can clarify. The question why can't we love ourselves 24 seven or is this a nature reaction to uncontrollable emotions and situations? I have the ability to do anything I want and say in life and I love it and I embrace it to its fullest sometimes and that when the fear or should I say Sam shows his face.
I AM MY WORST ENEMY!
To be continued...
“Is the theme in literature that places a character against his or her own will, confusion, orfears. Human vs. Self can also be where a character tries to find out who he or she is or comes to a realization or a change in character. Although the struggle is internal, the character can be influenced by external forces. The struggle of the human being to come to a decision is the basis of Character vs. Self.”
You ever look in the mirror and wonder who the image in the mirror is that’s looking directly back at you. They have the same skin brown color skin as you, same brown eye, lower tailored hair cut, wide shoulder, small lips, small black mole underneath the left nasal and skinny rectangle shaped head. Who is that person? Is that really me looking back at myself or a look alike create to mirror me? Yet, that person lives in a totally different world mentally, and feelings different feelings and emotions. We look the same but we don’t feel the same nor act the same and the world we live in mentally are totally different. You ever get the feeling that your not the same person mentally yet you have retained the physical makeup that looks like you but you are really not you. Those who have experienced these feelings, how much time have you wanted to act on these feelings and walk that line outside your so called self. This is a feeling that I have experienced many of time and I’m sure many of you have to but I never like to assume. At times I’ve wanted to walk those lines outside my actually self and who to say I have already. This is what led me to the conflict and Samuel vs. Sam. How many time have I walked the line as Samuel and how many times have I walked the line as Sam and not or been aware of it. I definitely feel one more then the other and vice versa at times. Walking the line as Samuel or Sam the same rules apply unfortunately yet the feeling is different for one.
The question I pose is why is there two rather the one, and is this a conflict of good vs. evil. I think back know and an analyze situations, people, events, animal, nature, environment, technology, etc. and wonder have I created positive or negative opportunity in these factor. Why do I continue to face myself and am I my own enemy. I honestly believe I am my own enemy at times, cause who would know me better then my own self. Why! I think I tend to create situations or events, or whatever you want to call it in which we set ourselves up to fail. I on the other hand am a prefect example of how I am my worst enemy at time. I have created situation that are set up to fail and I'm truly aware of it, or do I do it to sabotage the situation. Why do we do this to ourselve? Not sure, or am I? Are these the real factor or just a small picture to small factor of something bigger? What do we really have to fear from ourselves that we over look the obvious or ignore it? You guy's ever seen the movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's"? Great movie! But if you haven’t seen it I would recommend it. It is a chick flix fellas but overall it’s got so great moments and lines. The movie has a lot great lines but here a line that I think more appropriate for this moment.
"You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-You-Are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a wild thing, and you're terrified somebody's going to stick you in a cage. Well, baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somaliland. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself. ~ Breakfast at Tiffany's, 1961~
Why do we fight ourselves sometime or should I say why I Samuel M. Hudson Jr. do fight myself. I sometime worried how can a person love himself so much yet fear myself at the same time. I love myself from 10am till 8pm yet fear myself from 8pm till 10am ladies and gentleman. Please let me know if I have lost anyone at this point so I can clarify. The question why can't we love ourselves 24 seven or is this a nature reaction to uncontrollable emotions and situations? I have the ability to do anything I want and say in life and I love it and I embrace it to its fullest sometimes and that when the fear or should I say Sam shows his face.
I AM MY WORST ENEMY!
To be continued...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Catch that train
Today I was walking to the Metra because I take the Metra into work every morning; I’m about four blocks from the station when the train arrives. The doors open and people start protruding into the double doors, at this point me catching my train looks very slim. I start an all-out sprint, four blocks before the station and the doors closed. At that point my legs slow their stride and I claim defeat. But my heart keeps pumping which takes control of my legs and I keep pushing toward that train. I leap over the entrance and literally run into the train door. The conductor saw my little black head hit the door and launches the doors open. As I sat in my seat out of breath and tired I started to think about all the buses and train that I was never supposed to catch but made somehow. Then I thought deep into it and pondered about all the situations and opportunity that happened to me that wasn't necessary supposed to happen. I sometime wonder what would have happened if I never made that bus or train sometimes. Most of the opportunities I have had and experiences have been capable because I didn’t give up and I was able to catch that bus or train. What is really required to make that train? Does one have to poses extreme strength, or be fast on their feet, or does physical ability have anything to do with it. Is there a mental aspect involved here? Does it require mental abilities such as mind control or self-encouragement? Honestly I believe in HEART! It’ll open any door you require, and it’ll help you catch any train or bus that comes your way, and it’ll cease time when necessary. HEART….!!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Amazing.............
I'm back! What has it been 5 months since I have spoken to myself and fans? A lot has happen since then such as a change in year and time, new president or should I say the first African American president of the United State. The economy continues to struggle, I've made a decision to go back to school an continue my education this year. I’m not quite sure where that's going to lead me but it can only mean up. I hope! Still no one close to me outside my life but not really looking but maybe after a few of these blogs I'll open up about me and relationships. I continue to work the same job doing the same thing, it’s a job remember not a "CAREER". I must be doing something right consider that fact they allow me to continue to come back day after day, I must be a good little worker BOY. I've had some altercation these past months mentally and physically. Yea! I said the same thing, watch that beautiful face! I guess if I had a chance to do it all over again I would have done things different but oh WELL. Shit happens! I'm still not as closes as I should be to my life but my mind set as changed a bit towards myself. Yet I feel I will always look for that challenge and with that said it will never allow me to over look simple pleasures or the best things in life. Yet as I get older I hope it slows me down but I have a feeling it will only make me hungrier. I know! WHAT THE FUCK! Oh! I remodel my apartment for the second fuckin time. Did I really need to remodel it? No! But I did it anyway, cause I could and wanted to andI know doesn’t make sense. Try explaining that to myself which continuing to be a battle with me but that’s a topic for another time. Oh yea! I'll be turning 27 in a month in a half. Sometime I feel I’m the only person who enjoys getting older maybe because my big head increases with time. I'm sure a few of you will find that funny but I love the smile your faces make as these read pass through mind and your nerves tell your muscles raise your buts to create that reaction on your faces now. But that’s another topic for another time as they all are your all are probably assuming. If you’re not aware I will write a new blog once a week randomly and those followers will receive email notification once it’s been created. The point of blogging is solely for my mental purpose and for me to get my ideas and thoughts out in some form. I don’t mean to offend anyone but I’m aware my thoughts my produce that so I will not apologize for it and feel free to comment on any of my blogs. I entertain the feedback and don’t be shy with your comments.
Remember! I am AMAZING.....!
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